Have Beer, Will Travel

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If we're coming up on my birthday (and we are, so if you have a second the best present you can give me is to bookmark this Amazon link and shop there and/or do the same at any of the other fine beer and brewing vendors on our Support page!) then I know one thing for certain: 

I'm getting out of town.

I don't like being made a fuss over, and I don't much want to blow out a candle stuck into a cake I don't much want to eat.  No, I just want a basically "normal" day, and that's easier to do (ironically) when I get out of the state for the day.  Sometimes even the country.  If commercial interplanetary travel ever becomes a thing, you can bet I'll be booking it for sometime in late June.  

And that means traveling with beer, either to bring it with me to some destination and/or to bring it back from some beercation stop.  So, this week, we'll be taking a moment to think about how we transport beer. 

"I Want to Murder whomever designed this cooler."

Not everyone has access to great coolers for beer transport.  For example, I don't do much camping, but those that do have access to some pretty awesome coolers.  I could buy one for myself, I suppose, but somehow I never think of it.  Instead, I'm stuck with my cooler, and deep in my heart I want to murder the person who designed mine.  Or at least torture them a bit - make them watch the last couple of seasons of Sons of Anarchy, say.

It's three cans/bottles wide...actually more like 3.78.  They won't quite fit four.  And it's three cans/bottles long...actually more like 3.29.  You know, so that when you line up your cans and bottles they have room to jostle around, break, get good and agitated.  Just how we like them.

Test this geometry question out before you buy a cooler.  I swear, buy a case of seltzer and walk into LL Bean or Dicks with it.  Don't just read the number of cans or bottles it stores.  Because here's a diabolical twist with my homicide-inducing cooler: it actually fits more cans than it advertises, but it does so in a way that makes you want to hit yourself in the head with a framing hammer.

Can I ship Beer?

You're on the road.  You stop at such-and-such world-famous brewery.  You buy some beer.  Can you ship it home?  Yes, yes you can.  But no, actually, I don't think it's legal.  I've been told you can ship home brewed beer to competitions because it's not commercial (it's diagnostic and a homemade product), but even then you're better off telling them it's something else.  I used to say "yeast samples," but that got weird looks like I was planning on causing a smallpox outbreak, so instead I now just go with "perfume."  Why not?  It's a liquid solution with alcohol and aromatic oils and compounds.  

That's perfume.

No, the best beercation beer retrieval method I know is to pack it home yourself, and if you're doing that, try to avoid flying with it.  Trains are OK.  Driving is best.  Cruise ships will make you check them when you come back onboard, but you'll get them back when you disembark.

Keg it

If you're lucky enough to have your own vacation home - or know the owner and can beg him/her to make a capital improvement - seriously consider investing in a kegerator for your second home or vacation spot.

The advantage here is that you pay a lot less for that beer, especially if you brew it yourself, and lots of vacation destinations are lousy with BYOs.  Stock some growlers, bring yourself a sixtel of beer to the mountains or the beach, and pour away.  

Plus, there's just something really gratifying about pouring beer off of a tap than opening a can or bottle.

Have a Great Independence Day!

So, time to sign off.  I'd like to wish you all a happy Independence Day (July 2nd here in the States - don't be one of those sheep who celebrate the Fourth of July just because that was when Congress issued it's little press release - we became independent on July 2nd), Victoria Day up in Canada, and if you have a national or religious holiday falling sometime between now and the 5ht or 6th when I get back, then a merry time to you as well!

Keep it simple.

JJW

Please help support BEER SIMPLE by visiting the Support page and saving the links there as your bookmarks, especially this Amazon link!  Every dollar you spend will help keep BS coming your way, and more often (which is at least as much a threat as a promise).


Beer, Culture, and Diversification Mystery Syndrome (DMS)

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I'm into craft beer and brewing.  Over the years, though, I've noticed that being a "beer person" leads people to believe I must also be into cider.  And mead.  And things that have literally nothing to do with beer.  I've come to refer to this phenomenon as Diversification Mystery Syndrome (DMS, for short - sorry, I tried to come up with a beer-related acronym, but nothing would fit...).  

What is DMS?  Where does it come from?  And how many people will stumble upon this article because of my totally coincidental but SEO-friendly fusing of sentences with the terms "DMS" and "brewing" and "beer" in them?  We may never know the answers to these questions, but I want to raise awareness of this condition.  Maybe sponsor a 5K for it.  Or have a federally-recognized week in support of it.

Let's talk about DMS.

DMS, Described

I almost never buy cider. It isn't that I don't like it - it's fine.  But if there's beer available, I'll nearly always choose to buy beer.  Why?  Because I'm a beer nerd.  Same thing with mead, though I'll buy that more often because I like it more...but still nowhere near as much as beer.  So why do any number of groups and individuals lump them together ("4-12% ABV Beverage people")?

Ditto with other "artisanal" and/or "rustic" foodstuffs.  When I walk around a beer festival, why am I looking at cheese vendors selling blocks of whimsically-named products that, based on their price-per-pound, are actually being used to envelop high-quality jewelry?  Why does my local homebrew shop sell "mushroom growing" kits, as though brewing beer means I'm looking to go totally off the grid and abandon purchased food altogether?  How long before I'm seeing urine purification kits so I can just go perfectly self-sustaining and use it to brew so I can drink it before eating my home-grown mushrooms and diamond-stuffed cheese?

Why are so many brewers into kilts?  We have a club tartan on record with one of the best kiltmakers in the world - which makes me happy, because I own three kilts and love wearing them.  But why should other members of my homebrew club feel peer pressure to go buy and wear a kilt? 

These (and others) are examples of DMS.  It is a syndrome whereby beer people are expected (by beer people and non-beer people alike) to also be enthusiasts for things that aren't beer.  And this goes beyond just the superficial visual heuristics of beer folks, like beards or brewery hoodies.  People assume I have additional hobbies based on one barely-related (or not even that) hobby.

It strikes me as strange.  If you told me you're really into running, I wouldn't assume you also mountain climb because they both "use legs." It's also strange because it's somewhat paradoxical: why don't people assume I'm into wine?  Because that seems like it would be right in the DMS wheelhouse along with mead, but for some reason it's almost never invoked...  

There must be something else at play here.  

Culture

I'm not suggesting that hobbies can't incorporate diverse related (or even unrelated) interests or ideas or ideals.  But we should note when this happens: these things crop up, at least in part, because of the development, spread, and persistence of culture.  Craft beer carved out a new cultural space from those who just drank beer because it was there.  When your choices were possibly-tainted water, whatever ale was in the cask, or wine (which was for rich people), then the combination of ubiquity and non-specificity meant that "craft beer culture" wasn't really a thing, any more than "craft water culture" is a thing.  Wait - it's not, is it?  Maybe somewhere in LA or London.  If everyone drinks it, and no one thinks much about it, it doesn't tend to develop cultural traits.

But cultures do form when devotees start to organize and discriminate (take that in its neutral, literal definition).  We start distinguishing craft beer from non-craft beer.  We evolve our definitions and descriptions.  Jargon develops.  Communities form.  And when they reach the point where communication of norms and behaviors and ideas means some level of homogeneity within those communities, you see real cultural development.

"Culture," after all, is simply a collection of shared traits or values that build expectations of behavior or belief.  Sometimes these include activities that fall within the same value system or ideological space: people who brew their own beer may very well also want to make their own cheese or grow their own mushrooms, because they're culinary "DIY'ers."  Or physical artifacts: modes of dress or articles of clothing, like kilts.  Or mentifacts: a sense of solidarity with other craft beverages like ciders or meads.  Culture is earned.  It includes and excludes - which is why most people don't assume a beer nerd is also a wine nerd. 

DMS is like gout: it's a byproduct of cultural "success," and it has specific, culturally-defined symptoms.

Living with DMS

So, you're a beer nerd.  How do you live with DMS?

On many things, it's just going to be easier to assimilate.  Buy the kilt.  Shave your head or grow a beard (or both).  Go to that mead tasting.  Raise chickens, if your homeowners association permits it.  You might find you actually develop a liking for these things, too, and even if you only tolerate them, it'll probably bring you into contact with people you'll like.

But don't feel like you must live up to the expectations of others.  You don't need to be some kind of one-man-band of hobbies and interests.  You can choose to just like beer for its own sake, and refuse to wear flannel except in logging situations.  Don't buy the cider.  Eat store-bought mushrooms.  When asked about your refusal to conform, proudly state:

"I just like beer."

Keep it simple.

JJW

Please help support BEER SIMPLE by visiting the Support page and saving the links there as your bookmarks, especially this Amazon link!  Every dollar you spend will help keep BS coming your way, and more often (which is at least as much a threat as a promise).